We are greeted with guitarist Satchel and the always calm, Stix Zadina, to talk about the follow up to 2017’s ‘Lower The Bar‘ album, as well as the ‘Pussy Melter‘ incident, their own line of dildo’s and the most un-fuck-able dude in 80’s metal!
So, step inside and leave your less offended self at the front door because this get’s a little weird…
Down The Barrel Photography, for Overdrive.ie © 2019
STIX – Well, the first thing that I have to say is that it’s so nice to be back on Overdrive and if we get our ball-sacks sucked on stage tonight, I’ll totally buy you a beer.
SATCHEL – You might as well just buy him a beer now dude, cause that’s totally gonna happen later on!
OD – The first thing I have to ask is what’s the story with the new album? You entered the studio bar in November, so I’m guessing that most of the album is laid down. Would that be correct?
STIX – You would be correct in saying: “There’s a lot laid down” if you know what I mean (laughing). But because we work so hard with all the touring, Steel Panther TV and doing the next record…
SATCHEL – We fuck a lot of bitches too! That takes up a lot of time. There’s just so many bitches that are lining up to be fucked by us. It just gets difficult.
STIX – He’s not wrong.
SATCHEL – I was supposed to be working on the solos, but there are just so many girls that need to be fucked.
OD – So, you’re having to track one solo, then switch your attention to pleasing many women, one track at a time?
Down The Barrel Photography, for Overdrive.ie © 2019
SATCHEL – I would try to get the solo completed but it’s just too distracting and I just think the album is gonna be postponed at this stage! Shit’s just not getting done, I’m just being lazy and I’m fucking a lot of girls right now. I’m fucking sooooo many girls, that, it’s just gonna take some time to work through all that pussy.
This is not new information you know? Everybody knows that I like to fuck girls.
STIX – Well, you just put it out there now dude!
SATCHEL – The rest of the guys know that the album is top priority. TOP! Right underneath fucking girls (laughing). I’m addicted to girls, fucking and love to party! I also love writing music and I love recording records, but that’s all just right underneath pussy (laughing).
OD – So, you’re living the dream Satchel.
SATCHEL – We’re gonna get more pussy when the new album comes out, so I’m just making sure that I’m hitting all the other pussy that’s here now. I don’t want to leave anyone behind. (laughing).
OD – When can we expect to see a release date?
STIX – Nothing is set in stone right now because as Satchel said, we need to make sure that we have worked our way through all the vagina that’s out there. We don’t know how long each fuck is gonna take, so we just need to work through it.
SATCHEL – Sometimes it happens really quick and other times, I can be going for hours, man!
OD – Have you considered approaching this as a group effort, to speed things up?
SATCHEL – Our first record was recorded that way! I was working on 3/4 girls at a time to get ahead of schedule. If you listen to the solo in ‘Eatin’ Ain’t Cheatin‘, I’m actually blowing my own nut which was crazy now that I think of it but, it’s just one of those things dude.
OD – You’re back in Ireland for the first few shows ahead of your Sunset Strip tour with a run of dates that will take you all over Europe right up until Feb 19th then you kick off the “Heavy Metal Mardi Gras” tour in March back home. Will you be testing out some new material then?
STIX – We rescheduled those shows, and partly because we could finish tracking the album. The idea behind the tour was based around a new venue that had opened in New Orleans, I think it’s called The Fillmore if I’m correct.
They were doing a grand opening that week and it was centered around the actual Mardi Gras annual festival. We were gonna go out and do the whole tour and it was gonna be rad!
SATCHEL – We were gonna call it the: “Fillmore Vaginas Tour” (laughing)
STIX – So, Heavy Metal Mardi Gras was put on the shelf as we were just way to busy with all the other stuff that’s happening in the band right now. We literally had to stop. We had to say to ourselves: “You know what? If we don’t take some time to get this done, it’s just never gonna happen and we have to prioritise.” Pussy first, then the album.
Down The Barrel Photography, for Overdrive.ie © 2019
SATCHEL – As I said, I’ve filled those dates with plenty of vagina, but don’t worry, we’ll get this album done.
OD – So, what about all the ladies that you have waiting for you back home? How does that work, as I’m sure this can be a problem for you all.
STIX – It just marinates.
SATCHEL – I have to have talks with my ‘bitches‘ and say: “You know I’m gonna be in Europe and I’m gonna be fucking some other ‘bitches’ and in the meantime, you can just play with your pussy and even fuck other guys while I’m away. But just don’t tell me about it.” I don’t want to hear about other guys and how they are better than me. I don’t wanna hear about Jerome’s big cock! (laughing)
OD – How is it that bands such as Motörhead, Rammstein and Ghost have their own line of dildo’s, but Steel Panther have yet to penetrate that market?
SATCHEL – I’ve been talking to the guys about this. We should totally do this Stix!
STIX – Satchel’s been trying to sell the idea’s of dildo’s to us for a while now. I personally think, well, it’s been done a few times now by those other bands, but obviously not with our cocks.
OD – So, you would be interested in getting molds of your cocks and bringing out your own line of vibrators?
SATCHEL – We should each do our own dicks and then not put our names on them and let the girls figure it out.
OD – You could also make double-ended ones!
STIX – (laughing) Ahh yes, that’s a killer idea. The Steel Panther double-ended-dildo!! (laughing) Lexi and Stix or Satchel and Michael…(laughing) Hang one.. what if there was a set of four dildo’s with screw on ends and you could choose who you wanted to fuck? That’s an awesome idea (laughing).
SATCHEL – A lot of good ideas coming here, man. Awesome!
OD – We have been hearing the news of Mötley Crüe’s ‘The Dirt’ movie currently in production, have you seen it or heard anything about it to date?
STIX – Yes! Our friend Jeff Tremaine directed that movie.
OD – Have you seen the movie yet?
SATCHEL – No, not yet. It’s been a pretty tight secret so far. For real, I’ve heard it’s really good.
STIX – I’ve also heard that it’s a really good movie. Machine Gun Kelly, who we’ve done loads of shows with and is a good friend, plays Tommy Lee (Mötley Crüe) and I anticipate he’s gonna do a really good job. With Jeff directing, it’s gonna be lots of fun.
I’ve also heard that they’ve kept it as close to the actual book as possible, so, I guess I’ll have to take peoples word on that as I’ve not read the book….because I can’t actually read.
SATCHEL – Hey Stix, you can watch the audio/visual version of the book when it comes out.
OD – If Steel Panther had the chance to do something similar to The Dirt book then the movie…
STIX – Well, I’m just gonna fucking say it right here man, our book would put The Dirt to shame.
SATCHEL – We could say that Stix, but that will just make those guys (Mötley Crüe) really mad. They’re actually really mad at us right now.
STIX – No, not all the band. Tommy (Lee) and Nikki (Sixx) are pissed at us right now.
SATCHEL – Everybody knows that we party way harder than those guys have ever done in the past and… look we’re not trying to brag but, honestly, we do get more pussy than Mötley Crüe, if you add it up by weight.
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Standards are a little lower, but we don’t care as much. Don’t get me wrong! We get lots of hot ‘bitches‘ but we get ugly ones’ also and the point is, we don’t leave any ‘bitches‘ behind. We’ll just fuck any ‘bitch‘, anywhere at any time.
STIX – The wider the net, the more fish you catch but they’re not all gonna be tasty (laughing).
OD – But there very well could be a book or a movie about Steel Panther down the line. If you could get anyone to play your character, who would it be?
STIX – Absolutely dude! Who knows what’s gonna happen. But the question is indeed who would I get to play me? Well, I guess it would have to be… Hmmm, that’s a good one. Let me think for a second…
SATCHEL – Well, for me it’s obviously got to be Ben Stiller. Everybody says I look like Ben Stiller but I think really, I should just play myself.
STIX – No dude, for this question, you have to pick an actor that would play your character.
SATCHEL – Yeah, but nobody is gonna play me better than me! Okay, Okay, let me pick. Hmm, I would say, ahh…
STIX – It could be anyone that doesn’t necessarily look like you but would be a good Satchel.
SATCHEL – Okay, then I would have to say Al Pacino.
STIX– Nicccce! I would pick Patrick Swayze or Nicolas Cage or Val Kilmer.
OD – The Pussy Melter drama from last year gave us all a huge laugh, do you think that people just need to relax and stop being so fucking dramatic?
SATCHEL – People are way to sensitive now. We live in an age of social media and people react to things so quickly before they do any research. They just see shit and they react and that’s exactly what happened with that girl. I can’t remember her name right now. I think the band was called “Braids” or something like that.
OD – Yeah, her name is Raphaelle Standell-Preston and the band is ‘Braids‘.
SATCHEL – Yeah, that’s her. Anyway, she saw the foot pedal and it was her first reaction which was ‘This shouldn’t be here and let’s make it go away‘. She didn’t know what we were about at all. That’s part of the problem of the age we’re now living in. People should take the time to look a little deeper into things before they start kicking up a storm.
Perhaps if people take a moment to try to understand things then they might find the humor in life and learn to laugh off certain situations.
Exposing Shadows Photography, exclusively for www.overdrive.ie 2019
STIX – The irony about this whole situation is, had she just seen it and said: “That’s not for me.” this whole thing would have gone away, started and stopped right away. Honestly, that pedal had been already out for a full year and when she started getting all pissed about it, she brought so much attention to it and in turn, created the best ever marketing campaign anyone could have hoped for.
Her actions created a situation that was more than a guitar pedal. People began to react to her by saying: “Hey, just because YOU don’t like it, doesn’t mean I don’t like it!”
It just turned into this huge thing and I’m just so grateful that she handled it the way she handled it because it really shone a light about this uber sensitive generation of people that are constantly being offended by just about everything these days.
SATCHEL – Yeah, totally. I also feel that we came out on the right side of that whole situation.
STIX – We talked about the best way to respond to this situation. We could have easily gone: “Well, fuck you!” but that would have just made things more complicated.
SATCHEL – We just let our fans go crazy instead! (laughing)
STIX – It was amazing to see the reaction from all over the world. Our fans and even people that are not into Steel Panther all rallied together and became fans because they wanted to defend the right to freedom of choice.
Down The Barrel Photography, exclusively for www.overdrive.ie 2019
SATCHEL – When it got so heated, there were so many people that wanted to buy the Pussy Melter, as a direct protest to anyone that tries to tell them what to do. It was a direct action against these type of over sensitive people that expect everyone else to like what they like and basically live how they choose to live their lives. It was amazing to see.
OD – You can’t buy marketing like that. Have you thought about sending her a “Thank You” card?
STIX – We also thought about that and it would have cost us .67c to send and at the end of the day, Fuck that! (laughing)
OD – A lot of bands are putting on their own festivals now and even Cruise Ship events, have you guys ever considered something like Seamen on the High Seas?
STIX – What a killer idea dude! I love it. Yeah, our buddy Chris Jericho did his ‘Rock n’ Wrestling Rager’ cruise and it went really well. He’s actually working on the second one now which is awesome. We’ve toured with Chris and he’s such a nice guy. Him selling out the first cruise was just awesome and I’m sure the next one will be even better.
With regards to putting on our own version of this. I’ve spoken to the people who were involved with ‘Rock ‘N Wrestling Rager‘ (Sixth Man) and it’s definitely not off the table for us. It’s just got to be right and it’s something that we would love to do down the line. So I guess we’ll just see what happens.
With regards to a Steel Panther Festival, I think our band is fucking perfect in creating that environment and I think our fans would come out and represent for us big time.
OD – The MOST fuck-able dude in 80’s metal was…
STIX– It’s got to be Kip Winger!
SATCHEL – Really? Kip Winger?
STIX – This question is about who we think chicks would most like to fuck right? (laughing)
OD – Yes
STIX – Then it has to be Kip Winger.
OD – Before or after he shaved his beard off?
STIX – Ahh, trick question dude! Nice one. It’s got to be before he shaved off his beard.
SATCHEL – God damn, this is a tough one. I’d have to say Jon Bon Jovi.
OD – The LEAST most fuck-able dude in 80’s metal was?
STIX – I’m just gonna say what we’re all thinking. It’s C.C. Deville (Poison)
SATCHEL – (laughing) Yeah, I’d totally go with that.
STIX – Also, Udo Dirkschneider (Accept / U.D.O)
SATCHEL – Yeah, Udo’s a good one. But Stix, who would you rather fuck Udo or C.C?
STIX – I’d rather fuck C.C. I guess. (laughing)
SATCHEL – Yeah, me too. (laughing)
STIX – Well, hang on a second, let’s really think about this. Who’s the least fuck-able dude in 80’s metal? (Googling 80’s metal dudes)
At this point, the room erupts with laughter….
SATCHEL – Awww man, that’s it, that’s it. It’s got to be Mark ‘The Animal” Mendoza of Twisted Sister!! (laughing) With his make-up on, I would rather fuck Udo! (laughing).
Steel Panther are currently on tour across the UK and Europe and will be appearing at the following dates listing below;
Oran O’Beirne
www.overdrive.ie 2019
